4 tips to bounce back from rejection

photo credit: london's online dating photographer, saturday night's alright

Need to pick yourself up after another rejection?
If you're actively online dating, then chances are you are going to have felt rejected at some point or other.  If you are anything like I was at the beginning, you might take the rejection to heart and allow yourself to get put off continuing your search for online love.  I realised after a while that wallowing in self-pity was not only miserable but also unnecessary and was ultimately dragging out my search for love so I changed my mindset.  These are the tricks that I used to pick myself up.

1. Train yourself not to take it personally
Being rejected obviously feels like a very personal thing, it feels like they are rejecting you, in all your horrible glory.  Of course in real life, nothing is as simple as that, when two people meet and go on a date there are clearly about a million factors which come into play which means it may not work out.  Quite often the timing is off, or they are in an emotionally bad place or they've just got a massive stressful promotion or someone close to them is sick.  None of those things are about you, it's just that life got in the way.  It does that.  Once you accept that not everything is about you, it's easier to let go of any hurt.

2. Treat yourself
There is nothing like treating yourself to make you feel better.  New shoes anyone?  Tickets for a festival or that gig you want to see?  Now you have the perfect justification to do it.  You're doing it in the name of personal development.  Every cloud and all that.

3. Remind yourself why you're so cool 
This is probably the most important step in the process of bouncing back.  It's crucial to build up your self-esteem and the quickest way to do that is to remind yourself of all the reasons why you're so cool.  Look at all the great stuff you've done in your life and commit them to memory.  Do something you love or are really good at.  If you're stuck, ask your best mates they'll be able to help.  Keep this up until you feel all fired up again.

4. Move on
Give yourself a few days to wallow, if you need to, but then just shake it off and get back in the game.  Come on there are dates to be had.  Many of my friends marvelled at my ability to jump back in the saddle quite soon after a break-up by the end of my dating journey.  But I had these four steps down to a tee by then and the time it took me to move on got shorter and shorter.  Less time wasted, more chance for fun.  Win win.

I hope you found this useful.  Let me know.  Find me on Facebook and tell me what helps you move on from rejection.